The Grass is Always Greener
by lu.chan93
Summary: Cadet Daniel Holmes received his first special assignment from Star Fleet.  He had no idea what he was getting into.  With very hard choices to make, and finding himself in the Delta quadrant, integrating into Voyager's crew may prove a challenge.
1. Chapter 1

**This is not my fic. I'm posting it because my friend, drawingblade, is too lazy to do it himself, and it provides background for Dan Holmes who co-stars in my DS9 fic. Thanks for reading, and please review! Reviews are love, and drawingblade and I absolutely adore them! :D**

**Enjoy!~**

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><p>Cadet Daniel Holmes gave a weary sigh. Academy work was so boring these days.<p>

**One taste of space, and San Francisco's lost its charm**, he thought with a sigh. Sitting in his sparsely-furnished studio apartment, Holmes stood up and strode to the window, stepping over a pile of old-fashioned paper books; it was an eccentricity of his that made most of those he'd had over to visit roll their eyes. Data padds were so much more efficient. You didn't need a bookmark, or to even search for a specific paragraph. All this before getting to the fact that a single padd could hold over a teraquad of data. But there was something about the feel of a book that added to the rich tales told within.

A fantastic view greeted him from the outside of the bay window. A beautiful mixture of technology and nature. The Golden Gate Bridge wasn't in his line of view, but it still stood, even in the 23rd century, it's arches gleaming proudly. The city had been modernized. The best part of that was that the once smog-laden city now had a clean atmosphere, making breathing and admiring the view much easier.

There was the Starfleet Academy campus, just a short walk away. It was the crown jewel of Starfleet, discounting its impressive array of starships, of course.

Suppressing another sigh, Holmes turned his back on the window, looking at his uniform, folded neatly over a chair. Most cadets just threw their uniforms on the ground and simply replicated a new one. Holmes, however, felt the uniform was like a black belt in the martial arts he had been taking for years- it was part of your 'identity', and it should be treated as well as you'd treat yourself.

**Wish I got to wear it more often. Just that one short hop. It was only a quick slingshot trip around Mars to repair that shuttle, but man…I'd give anything to be back in space.**

The sound of his communications equipment chirped in a frequency that he didn't know. It wasn't the academy, or a classmate calling. It wasn't his parents, either, and he had no girlfriend. So who?

"This is Holmes," he answered crisply. The screen on his desk made another chirp sound, and an image flashed up. It was an Admiral! Immediately, Holmes stood on ceremony.

"At ease, Cadet. I am Admiral Collins, overseer of a new operation of Starfleet."

"Yes, sir. What can I do for you?"

The Admiral had a crop of thick, black hair on his head, gelled into a severe-looking shape that belied it's density. He was definitely a new admiral- most of them were older, easily graying and exuded a regal air. This one hadn't quite mastered that yet. He seemed more like a very uptight Captain, as though he wasn't satisfied just sitting in a chair; his space exploration days were still fresh in his mind.

"Let me cut to the chase, Holmes. Your academy grades aren't stellar. However, your actions in your last mission lead us to believe you are capable of a great deal, given the opportunity."

Holmes didn't say anything. He couldn't acknowledge the compliment yet- he sensed a 'but' coming.

"We want to assign you to a science vessel as Chief Tactical Officer."

Holmes' heart leapt into his throat. The Admiral apparently understood, and he kindly kept talking to give Holmes time to get his bearings.

"This is an ideal mission for you. You'll serve as a bridge officer. As a science vessel, you'll see action at an acceptable pace, so you shouldn't be overwhelmed. The experience will do you good, should you choose to accept."

This was the pause that Holmes had been waiting for. This was where he was to interject with his answer. It took him a heartbeat's time to respond:

"I gratefully accept the position, sir. I thank Starfleet for its consideration."

The Admiral nodded. "Then pack your bags. Report to shuttle bay B-14 at 0600 tomorrow. Your ship is the _USS Guardian_, _NCC 77430_ and your commanding officer is Captain Charles Stevens."

"Understood."

With that, the Admiral was gone. Holmes stayed in his formal pose, as if to make sure the Admiral didn't come back and catch him relaxing. Finally, he allowed himself a grin.

**Finally! Back to space, and out of this apartment! I can't wait!**

-VVV-

The next morning, at 0400, Holmes was already at the shuttle bay. He couldn't sleep, and it was too early to call anyone, so he figured he might as well go wait at the shuttle bay.

After an hour had passed, Holmes had flipped through all the magazines in the place. To be accurate, he had read every padd he could find. Magazines had been outdated for quite some time. Holmes could remember his Father's collection of magazines on space and something called 'video games'. Holmes learned that video games were outdated by the holoboothes that played interactive simulations of various time periods, games, and other distractions. He was in love with the concept.

At 0530, someone where a Starfleet uniform approached Holmes. He immediately stood, assuming that this person was of a higher rank than he was.

"Cadet Holmes?"

The voice belonged to a female. Holmes' breath exited in a short gasp.

**Sh-she's beautiful! I've never seen a girl like this!**

"Y-yes, that's me," he stammered, straightening his uniform impulsively.

The girl smiled understandingly, unknowingly making Holmes more nervous. She had dark eyes and long, shiny black hair. The Starfleet uniform's weren't meant to flatter figures (but they did hide some spare tires that the older captains seemed to grow), but they outlined this girl's shapely frame beautifully.

**No girl has ever turned my head like this! I've never seen…wow.**

The girl was checking a padd that contained a charter for the shuttles that were leaving and entering. Good luck for Holmes- she didn't notice him trying to pop his eyeballs back into place. So THIS is what it was like to look up from a book!

"Okay, Cadet Holmes. You are bound for the USS Guardian, correct?"

"Yes, sir," Holmes managed to say coherently. The girl gave him another heart-stopping smile.

"At ease. No need to stand on ceremony. My name is Ensign Danielle Kitamura. I'll be flying you to your ship. Rather, our ship. I'm on the duty roster as well. In fact…wait, wait…you look familiar. Ah! I think we went to Starfleet Academy together!"

Holmes couldn't believe it. **How would I have missed **_**this**_**?**

"Yeah, that's it! We had Physics together. With that Captain…oh, what was his name…"

"Oh, that…Cardassian? Was he Cardassian? I could never tell. I couldn't pronounce his name, either. Too many consonants in a row. Phkl…something."

The Ensign giggled. "Yeah, that's the one! I remember- you sat in front, and actually paid attention."

Holmes chuckled in return. "Oh, it was that obvious? I had to concentrate just to understand him, never mind absorb the material."

**I'm hitting it off with this girl! I've never dated before. I'm pretty sure I want to ask her out, too… ****Well, we'll be serving together. No need to rush things.**

The Ensign checked one of the clocks that displayed earth hours. There were others that converted time into Klingon, Vulcan, and other measurements of time. The bustling hub that was a shuttle bay waiting area had many visitors of all races. The delicate balance that kept alliances steady needed all the help it could get to stay strong. Even something as simple as a clock that you could read could help in that respect.

"We'd better get moving. Don't want to be late, right? Since it's just you and I, we can get going straight away."

"Oh! Yes, you're right."

**I'm going to be riding alone, in a shuttlecraft, with this girl? This is great! Oh damn, I'm way too girl shy for a guy my age! I've just got to calm down and think about how to talk to her. Stay sharp, Holmes. This 'mission' will probably be the hardest one you'll have this tour of duty.**

The shuttle was small; meant to hold maybe five and the pilot. It had comfortable seating that were like blue couches around the sides of the bulkheads and hull and a table in the center with a replicator built into the bottom of it.

"I never caught your first name," Ensign Kitamura called from the cockpit.

"Sorry, I forgot to throw it," Holmes replied, grinning sheepishly. He climbed up to the cockpit. "I'm Dan."

The Ensign raised an amused eyebrow and favored the young cadet with a half-grin. "You're not trying to be cute, are you?"

Holmes didn't get what she meant, and he said so.

"The names. I'm 'Danielle', you're 'Dan'."

"I hadn't thought about that. But…yeah. No, I'm not trying to be cute; it's my real name. Small world, huh?"

"It certainly is," the Ensign said. Her voice held a note of disinterest now, though, where before she had been friendlier and open to conversation. Holmes winced inwardly, but kept his face free of expression. He sat down in the back.

**Now where did I blow it? Is it my name she didn't like? Or…'Small world'?. Oh, smooth, Dan! That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard! Why'd I say something like that?**

Holmes found that he really wanted this girl to like him, and the thought that he had disappointed her was awful. True to his nature, he gave in to depression. But then his mind fed him a little ray of hope:

**We're serving together for at least a few months. I've got time to reconcile my mistake.**

"There it is. The _USS Guardian_!"

The ensign suddenly sounded as though she was in awe. As Holmes looked on the view screen, he found he was in awe, too.

The ship had adopted the saucer design of the later Enterprise series. Families would stay together on this ship, hence the huge saucer. There were two warp nacelles, but in contrast to the Enterprise, they weren't extended out from the ship. Rather, they were in tighter to the hull, extending past the back end. The hull itself was elongated and narrow. It actually looked like a science vessel, if such a perception was possible.

"It's similar to a Vulcan design, save for the saucer," Holmes began, talking in autopilot. Now they were in a subject area he was familiar with. "Updated defense system…bio-tech containment cells, wide-angle transporter…I had no idea a science vessel could be so fascinating!"

The female ensign next to him smiled a little, but still seemed a little cool toward Holmes.

"_USS Guardian_, this is Ensign Kitamura. Requesting permission to dock in shuttle bay A-1."

"We're receiving you, shuttle 14-B. Prepare for docking procedures; commence when ready," came a cool, emotionless female voice from the other side of the comm system. Holmes wondered how they managed to find just this type of voice for this kind of job.

"Understood. Shuttle out."

Holmes watched as the ensign landed the ship manually. He grabbed onto an armrest, but she touched the shuttle down perfectly, with only a little bump as the inertial dampers adjusted.

Holmes knew he had to say something now if he was to have any kind of relationship with this girl. So he sucked in his breath and spat out the most obvious compliment he could think of- one that couldn't be taken any other way but positively.

"That was a very smooth landing, Ensign. Especially for doing it manually. Are you taking the helm for this tour?"

The Ensign didn't smile, but she seemed a little warmer. Or at least Holmes forced himself to believe so.

"I am, yes."

Holmes smiled. "It's corny, I guess, but I could swear that you didn't need the inertial dampering system at all."

The Ensign blushed a little at the compliment. She stood up and walked by Holmes. Her shoulder bumped him, just a little.

"…I'll look forward to seeing what you can do…Cadet."

Holmes stood up a little straighter- _that_ was a slightly sultry tone if he'd ever heard one. Not that he'd _had_, except in movies. She was probably just playing with him. Holmes could swear girls could see right through guys. Especially girl-shy ones. Kind of like how a cat will always latch onto the one that's allergic to him, though the company of a female was decidedly more pleasant. Irrelevant thoughts aside, this tour of duty was looking better and better.

Holmes watched the pretty young Ensign exit the shuttlecraft.

**Definitely looking better.**

-VVV-

First stop was sickbay. All crew must undergo a physical examination upon boarding and before beginning active duty. Holmes couldn't remember the regulation number for that, but it was on top of the list of things his professors had drilled into him. Holmes had taken the command track set of courses, focusing on tactical analysis and theory after a brief _tete' a tete'_with piloting. He was good, but not the top of the class. His aim with a phaser was much better than his ability to navigate. Holmes had the sense of direction of a brick, as one professor so kindly put it.

Sickbay was large; there were nearly ten beds lined up. Holmes guessed that was due to the fact that infectious disease and bacteria was likely to be abundant. The place was high-tech and well-equipped as far as Holmes could tell. He was no medic, so he couldn't say for sure.

"Cadet Holmes reporting," he announced, holding a duffel bag adorned with the Starfleet insignia in his hand, awaiting instructions.

An older man wearing the black and blue jumpsuit of the medical corps instantly stood up from his desk. Putting down a padd, he walked over to Holmes and extended his hand.

"Dr. Frank Bradshaw." The old man's handshake was firm and rough; clearly he was old school when it came to introductions. Holmes knew enough to squeeze back with an equal amount of pressure, somehow showing gumption and a knowledge that was outdated these days. Nodding your head to acknowledge someone was more hygienic than the outdated handshake.

"Well then, Cadet, let's get you checked out."

Holmes was thankful the doctor wasn't horribly old school. Disrobing for medical exams had gone by the wayside, too. Mercifully.

Captain Charles Stevens admired his new command from his command chair. As a science vessel, most of the ship had been laden down with- dare he even think it- stuffy, boring scientists, and the most Vulcans he had ever seen. It made for an almost arrogant air aboard the ship, and he certainly didn't like that very much. Arrogance tended to be catchy.

The conn and tactical stations were below him, toward the front of the circular room. The command chair was elevated on a small platform. Above that platform, accessible by a ramp, was the enlarged science station and Ops.

The command chair was black and some leather-like material that probably had a scientific name- no doubt some crewman would comment on it. The other chairs were of a slightly lighter gray color. The dark red carpeting on the floor coupled with the shiny metal railings and bulkheads made the place feel very big, open, and sterile. Almost without character.

**I guess that will be supplied by my crew**, Stevens thought. His First Officer had been assigned to him, further making this ship and it's mission feel impersonal.

The turbolift doors swished open. It was the aforementioned First Officer. Stevens had to suppress a sound of shock.

**A Talarian!**

"Welcome aboard. You must be Mr. Ander."

Without thinking, the Captain extended his hand. The Talarian paid no mind; instead, he just bowed, making no contact with the captain. After that, Ander stalked over to the science station without a word.

**Is he offended, or just a jerk?**

Stevens wondered briefly. **I've really drawn a lousy assignment. I wonder who I ticked off?**

The turbolift doors opened again. This time, a young cadet entered. He was clearly a little nervous and very fascinated. His Starfleet-issue duffel bag was still across his shoulders. The captain could tell a raw recruit when he saw one. This kid had way too much enthusiasm. He hadn't even been to his quarters yet! Or he didn't know how to find them; one of the two.

"Welcome aboard. I'm Captain Charles Stevens."

The young man strode over to a polite distance and stood at attention.

"Cadet Daniel Holmes, Sir. I'm your new Tactical Officer. It's nice to meet you."

The Captain inclined his head, while the younger man extended his hand. They both withdrew their respective greetings, each suppressing a chuckle for a different reason.

"Well, it's good to have you aboard. I understand this is your first extended mission?"

"Yes, sir."

Stevens could appreciate the enthusiasm more, given that his XO was a complete jerk so far.

"I'll look forward to working with you. We'll be leaving as soon as the rest of the crew files in. In the mean time, I suggest finding your quarters and introducing yourself to the Commander."

Stevens tipped his head toward the Talarian. He watched Holmes approached the Talarian, waiting to see what he would do.

Holmes bowed- the correct course of action.

Stevens stifled a curse. This was why he hated kids these days. You used to goof off in the academy. Clearly this one didn't- he was a 'by the book' type who not only needed rules but _liked_ them. Stevens just hoped he could think outside the box, unlike most 'brainwashed' students.

A third time the turbolift doors opened. This time, a pretty young human female entered, looking a little more confident than Holmes.

"Ensign Danielle Kitamura," the girl told him crisply, offering her hand. Out of the corner of his eye, Stevens saw Holmes perk up.

**Oh-ho! We've already got a bit of romance going on? Wonder if they know each other, or if he's just interested. Ah well. Good for them. Kids should make memories. If I was ten years younger…fifteen maybe…**

Aloud, the Captain said:

"Ah, yes. My new Helmsman. You come highly recommended from your instructors. It seems you could have also been a medical officer, or even a tactical officer, given your proficiency tests."

The Ensign shrugged a little, matching the informal tone of the conversation. "Piloting a starship was always a dream of mine. I'm happy to see it realized."

Holmes took his place at the Tactical station, making himself familiar with the weapons of the ship. As a science vessel, it wasn't exactly armed to the proverbial teeth.

**One phaser bank on each side of the ship…photon torpedoes…only 32? Disruptor torpedoes…12...Huh. We can't form any from our fusion generators, or something? I'm no tech, but this seems…incredibly outdated. Shields are a priority; these are some of the strongest I've seen. Wonder what our maximum speed is…**

Holmes looked over toward the conn, considering asking Danielle…er, Ensign Kitamura about the top speed, just to make conversation. But he chickened out, instead looking it up on his computer terminal.

**A maximum warp of…3? In this day and age? I could get out and free-float faster! Stupid speed limit.**

Holmes thought sardonically, trying to remember how it was that warp engines destabilized space. He knew that the latest ships had been equipped with variable geometry pylons, which someone got around the damage to subspace. Why not put it on this science vessel? Glancing back at the shields specs, Holmes train of thought re-aligned. **I guess we're supposed to hold out and call for help. The shields must be to prevent our experiments from getting damaged. Or maybe this is one of those 'learner ships' Starfleet was going to experiment with? Kind of like it has training wheels so we don't go flying into the sun at warp 9 or something?**

Holmes put his mind into figuring out how to make alternate weapons. He had a few ideas, but would need to talk to some engineer or tech to make it work. But he felt sure he'd be hard-pressed to find someone as cautious as he was.

**The one thing I learned about scientists…they'll always put their work above their safety. Rather, EVERYONE'S safety. So I've got to babysit a bunch of brains with the social skills of protozoa with weapons that were inadequate in any part of the galaxy thirty years ago.**

**This is the chemical formula for disaster, I think.**

Holmes had made his rounds on the _Guardian_, finding things to be just as he assumed. Air-headed geniuses. What a combination. Mix in a little arrogance to a 'mere tactical officer', as one so eloquently put it, and you had an irritated Holmes trying not to fire off a round or two at these idiots with his fist.

Frustrated after his shift, he aimed himself at the dining area. When the doors swished open, Holmes could swear he felt the hot air of hostility.

There were cliques of multi-raced scientists everywhere. Vulcans made up one area by themselves, either not talking or discussing things in low tones. It sounded like a lot of numbers to Holmes.

Then there were a couple Betazoids with a variety of human-ish aliens, and a couple human scientists.

There were groups all over like that. They all seemed hostile toward each other. But they looked up at Holmes as one as he entered.

**Nothing like the first day of school all over again. Where do I sit in the lunch room?**

Holmes went over to the replicator, ignoring the stares. He was surprised when the replicator spoke to him in an alien language. He cursed at the scientist who was messing around with these things. But he decided to play a little trick back at the geniuses at play.

"_Theris_," he said cooly, in his best impression of Vulcan speech. The replicator whirred for a moment, but ultimately produced a cup of the Vulcan equivalent of tea. Holmes had developed a taste for it at the academy due to it's side-effect of being a stress-buster. His stomach always felt better after a warm glass of whatever kind of plants it is that Vulcans make tea from.

Choosing an empty table in the corner of the crowded room, Holmes took his beverage and sat down. He nodded cheerfully at everyone. In the end, only one person deigned to talk to him. To his surprise, it was a Vulcan. Holmes stood up and assumed a posture he had often seen the Vulcan instructors take up at the academy. His hands were clasped behind his back, and he nodded his head in a semi-bow before speaking. He skipped small talk (that had been Vulcan 101's first lesson- get to the point when speaking) and offered a greeting.

The Vulcan returned the posture and the greeting.

"I observed you enter, and I found myself quite impressed with how you handled the situation."

"I've been in a similar situation before. It's just like the first day of school."

"I am not sure I can appreciate your analogy…Vulcans tend to have a certain…acceptance…for our own kind."

"I see. Acceptance is a nice concept. I wish all species would observe such a courtesy." Holmes shifted slightly before he continued. "May I ask your name?"

"I am Tarek."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Dan Holmes."

"I am honored," the Vulcan replied. He inclined his head. "If you will excuse me, I must return to my comrades. We are in the process of working out a proposal to be submitted to the Science Officer."

"By all means. It was good talking with you," Holmes replied, keeping the sarcasm out of his voice. At least Tarek had been friendly enough.

The Vulcan nodded and left, returning to his spot. He resumed his place in the conversation as though he had never left. It made Holmes wonder just how powerful this 'acceptance' thing of theirs was.

As he watched the Vulcans, something else caught Holmes' eye. It was Ensign Kitamura, and she was having the same trouble with the replicator he was. Getting up, Holmes resolved to find someone to fix the damned thing before any more victims fell prey to the cruel joke.

* * *

><p>"Damn it!" Danielle cursed, losing her composure slightly. It wasn't like her to lose her temper even for a moment, but this ship's unfriendly atmosphere was really taking it's toll on her. This was going to be a long, sour mission if things didn't improve.<p>

**We've barely left the station and I already feel like I'm going to crawl out of my skin. And now this damned replicator is acting up!**

"Anything I can do to help?"

Danielle shot a glance sideways, finding Cadet Holmes standing at attention.

"At ease, Cadet. We're both off-duty, and I'm not your CO anyway."

"Right. My mistake," Holmes said, sounding a little taken aback. Danielle sighed and apologized.

"No, MY mistake. This irritating replicator…"

"Maybe I can help…"

"Not unless you speak Vulcan."

Holmes grinned a little. "Depends on what you want to order. I'm hardly fluent, but I managed to get tea out of it before."

"Let's see you produce soup. I don't even care what kind at this point."

Holmes nodded and spoke into the machine: "_Shur_."

Amazingly, the machine didn't ask for greater specification. Holmes guessed it produced some kind of Vulcan soup.

"I can't exactly guarantee the taste," Holmes said with a smirk. "If you-"

BOOM!

The ship rocked. Holmes and Danielle exchanged glances. They nodded at each other, silently agreeing to head for the bridge. Putting her soup down on the nearest table, Danielle followed Holmes from the room at a run.

The bridge was in disarray. Captain Stevens was trying to get his people under control. Unfortunately, almost everyone turned out to be a scientist. Stevens knew he was desperate when he saw his two new recruits enter and felt a wave of calm.

"Holmes, Kitamura- take your stations! You two, whoever the hell you are, get out of those chairs!"

Holmes nearly backhanded the obstinate alien sitting in his spot. The thing certainly seemed to take it's time getting out of the way. Holmes sat down before the seat was completely vacated.

"Weapons online! Shields at 80% and holding!" Holmes announced, his fingers dancing over his console gracefully.

Stevens sat down, finally feeling a measure of calm.

"Kitamura, evasive maneuvers. No set patterns; make it up. Holmes, fire at will. Lt…uh…Ops! What the hell IS that?"

"Unknown," came the reply. Stevens let out an audible curse. **Do I really have to order you to find out?**

"Hail them!"

"Channel open."

"This is Captain Stevens of the Starshi-"

BOOM! The ship was rocked from stem to stern yet again. Intertial dampers were certainly a wonderful thing at this point.

"No response," the Ops Lt said dryly, as though this was no more fascinating than watching paint dry.

Holmes was firing, but not getting anywhere. "Their shields are re-calibrated against phasers…firing photon torpedoes…hit to non-vital area…adjusting aim to compensate movement…"

The ship was rocked, and more violently than before. If Holmes hadn't been holding onto his console with a death grip, he would have been a big splatter on the view screen.

"Report!" Stevens demanded. No one seemed able to talk except the two in front of him.

"Shields at 50%. They've received no damage. I've targeted their weapons and engines thus far. They keep re-calibrating their shields to match me."

"Someone give me a damn suggestion!"

Holmes stood up and went to Ops. He glanced at the more in-depth diagnostic chart, nodding to himself.

"Captain, permission to transfer Ops readings to my console? I've got a potential solution."

Stevens gave a grim nod. "Explain while you do this."

As Holmes tapped furiously at the console, he laid out his plan. "None of our weapons has had an effect on their shields. It seems they've someone managed to align their shields to perfectly block each threat."

"How the hell can they do that? That requires impossible skill!"

"Or an incredible intelligence network," the Talarian XO added dryly. This was the first time the alien had spoken since this attack began. Stevens wondered who in the hell had commissioned this clown.

Holmes continued, apparently unfazed by the Captain losing it.

"Outside of conventional weaponry, we have an option. We need a burst from the main deflector dish. Coupled with immediate torpedo and phaser fire, it will generate a level 4 shockwave. At this distance, our shields would hover around 10%. But it should knock ALL their systems down, if only for a few seconds. That'll give me time to disable them, at the least."

Stevens was practically tearing his hair out. That was a solution that they mentioned at the academy. More accurately, the burst from the deflector dish. Coupled with those weapon strikes at precise intervals, it would indeed have the effect the cadet outlined. But still…

"Options?"

None.

"Any way to make this safer, Cadet? I don't want us damaged that badly."

"If we send out a distress signal…the nearest star ship is two hours away at their current speed. That's standard enough…if the helm can turn us a precise way and alert me in advance, I can set the shields at full strength in that position. That would leave us with roughly 20% shields. Maybe 25% if I 'layer' the shields."

Stevens sat down in his command chair and gripped it hard.

"Do it, Cadet. Conn, be ready to take us out of here. I want sickbay on standby!"

Holmes tapped his communicator and spoke a few words to Tarek in engineering. After a tense moment,

Tarek assured Holmes that the burst would be ready in three seconds.

"Fire when ready," Stevens said unnecessarily.

"Brace yourselves. This is gonna sting a little…Firing burst…"

The view screen was filled with a blue haze. A ribbon of energy was shooting toward the enemy ship.

"…Releasing torpdoes…calculating impact…"

The torpedoes glinted. They seemed to ride perfectly just behind the energy wave. The burst hit the enemy shields. They flickered for a second, but remained online. The shockwave was heading toward them…

"Their shields at 50% and holding…firing phasers…"

Holmes blasted his own torpedo, detonating the first one just as it struck the shield. The second torpedo rammed in right behind the first.

"Shockwave imminent…I've opened a small hole…the shockwave should open it…"

"Turning starboard…" Kitamura informed them all. The ship noticeably lurched right on cue.

"Aye, compensating…Shields in place and layered…Here it comes!"

The _Guardian_ was rocked with the incredible blast of a level 4 shockwave. The Captain, Helm, and Tactical were the only three left conscious.

"We've got an opening! Firing phasers and photons!"

The phaser fire didn't damage the shields any more, but it held the shrinking opening in place long enough for two photon torpedoes to slip through.

"First hit…We've taken out their forward weapons! Second hit…Critical shot to their warp core!"

Holmes's face went sour almost immediately.

"Captain, we've gotta get out of here! They're going to have a warp core breach in thirty seconds!"

"Helm, any heading but here, maximum warp."

Kitamura looked up grimly. "Warp engines offline. Engineering estimates at least 1 minute until they'll be online again."

"Withdraw at maximum impulse; full reverse! Tactical, get me shields on that side! Drain any bit of power you need, but get me as close to full shields as possible."

"Aye, sir. Powering down weapons…rerouting auxiliary power…emergency power…Shields at 60% and holding."

"What kind of damage can we expect?" Stevens asked, not sure he really wanted to know. Seeing the Cadet's face, he was _sure_ he didn't want to know.

"Surviving will be a miracle. Unless…unless we use the deflector dish again!"

Holmes tapped furiously on his console.

"Yes! Another burst will neutralize their shockwave! We'll suffer a level 1 shockwave and minor damage."

"There must be another solution!" the newly awakened Ops officer protested groggily, just now using his console to pull himself up from the carpeted deck.

"We've got no time, Captain," Holmes said bluntly.

"There's always time for science. A more intricate tactic might do more good."

Holmes leapt to his feet, an accusing hand extended toward the alien that was protesting. Losing composure for the first time in this crisis, he shouted:

"WHY DO WE NEED A MORE INTRICATE TACTIC? WE HAVE A SURE ANSWER! PLAY WITH YOUR DAMN FORMULAS WHEN LIVES AREN'T AT STAKE!"

"Do it! Cadet, your solution is our only option. Do it!"

**What have I been doing? I lost control of my bridge. The helm and tactical have been the only two positions worth a damn. I'm betting on them. They've been doing their job like two senior officers who have worked together for years.**

"Powering up the main deflector…five seconds until impact…releasing the burst…now!"

The alien ship exploded; a visible wave of energy was heading toward the _Guardian_. Another blue haze blocked the view screen; Stevens could just make out the two energy bursts meeting. They cancelled each other out for the most part. But that shockwave was still coming.

"Evasive maneuvers, Ensign Kitamura."

"Aye Sir. Warp engines will be online another twenty seconds."

Ensign Kitamura's hands flew over her console with a practiced ease. Aside from a little sweat on her face, you wouldn't know how nervous she was. She looked to Holmes unconsciously.

**That poor guy…all this hinges on his idea. If it doesn't work, if we survive, he'll be the one in hot water.**

Holmes was steadying himself for impact, but couldn't quite hide the worry on his face from Danielle's keen eye.

**He's feeling it now. He seemed so confident, but now I can see that he was holding himself in check. Was it for the sake of the others? Or was it pride?**

Holmes looked up and met Danielle's eyes. He smiled a little and rolled his eyes comically. That small gesture put them both a little more at ease. Being friends in this hostile environment had been a big help.

The shockwave hit, but it barely knocked the ship this time.

"Shields at 40% and holding…adjusting shields to their original settings…rerouting power…"

"Warp engines online. Thrusters at max."

Stevens sat back, feeling drained. He resolved to see these two promoted. While his scientists were reasoning with an irrational attack, these two had DONE something about it.

"Excellent work, helm; tactical. Ensign, take us out of here, maximum warp."

Kitamura moved to do just that. But her console emitted a bleep. It was the tell-tale 'no can do' sound on starships.

"Damn it! Sir, there's some kind of…suction. Something is pulling us off our original heading."

"Confirmed," Holmes added. "It seems to be a wormhole, sir. But there's a reading at the other end. I can't be interpreting this right!"

Stevens got up and peered over Holmes' shoulder. The light glow of the console outlined the muscles in the faces of the two men as their expressions become a mix of shock and horror.

"On the other side is the Delta Quadrant!"

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>

**TBC**

**Reviews are love!**


	2. Integration

Ensign Harry Kim tinkered away under Lt B'Ellana Torres' watchful eye. The half-Klingon was a formidable woman, and very explosive. True, she'd settled down quite a bit since joining the Voyager crew, and Harry would trust her with his life.

That didn't make working with her easy.

"No, no! That's not right! Adjust the phase modulation!"

"I've _been_ adjusting the phase modulation. It didn't work the first thirty times- why would it work now?" Ensign Kim shot back, losing his normally stoic demeanor for a second.

"_Bridge to Engineering. What was that?"_

The commbadge signal alerted Harry and B'Ellana to the Captain's questioning voice. B'Ellana responded:

"Uknown, Captain. I'm looking at the readings now…it looks like just a small space anomaly, created by Ensign Kim and I working with the warp core's containment field. No risk factor."

"_Acknowledged. Bridge out."_

As they were sucked through the wormhole, the remaining members of the _Guardian _crew held on for dear life. Holmes console erupted in a shower of sparks, sending him scampering for cover. He dodged backward and up to Ops. The Ops officer had died from the shockwave, so Holmes took over his console, moving both Ops and Tactical to his station.

Stevens had run out of options. The power had been diverted to the engines, but there was no escaping in the narrow, rapidly closing passageway.

"Ensign Kitamura, you are now my First Officer. Any ideas?"

Kitamura didn't even look up. She looked at Holmes, who hadn't heard the conversation. He was furiously working on a solution. In a low voice, Danielle spoke to the captain, hoping Holmes wouldn't overhear.

"…Sir, you've made a mistake. The Cadet is your man to be First Officer. He might have a suggestion. I've got…nothing…"

The young girl was obviously frustrated with her inability to do anything. She was a jack of all trades, and not one of those trades was coming in handy right now.

Stevens understood. It was one of the things that made Starfleet so great. Every once in a while, someone showed a great deal of humility and made sure credit was given where it was due. Stevens had thought about giving Holmes the title, but he couldn't bypass the Ensign's higher rank.

"Sir, we've got a real problem!" Holmes shouted over buzzing electronics and fire alarms blaring. "That last blast opened up the research area! Experiments of diseases have already taken root in the crew."

"Options?"

"…There's only one, Sir. We have to seal off those decks entirely- even from life support. Transfer all remaining power to the bridge and seal off every other area. According to this reading, the rest of the ship is infected. Locking down the turbolifts and Jefferies tubes, and shutting down the lower deck air circulators is our best chance to contain the diseases. But it means…"

"I know what it means, Cadet. Their lives are forfeit if we do this. But there's no choice. They're infected." Closing his eyes tight and leaning back in this chair, the Captain steeled himself, then stood up and announced:

"Do it. They have to make the supreme sacrifice for us. There's no hope for them now."

Holmes didn't like it, but he couldn't see any other alternative. He tapped the sequence of buttons to make the order so.

"Now, options: Getting out of this wormhole."

Danielle was grinding her teeth in frustration by now. She had no ideas whatsoever, and she was so drained from keeping the craft from taking major damage that she couldn't really even focus.

Holmes piped up, "Sir, I suggest we follow it to it's end. I don't know what will happen if the end closing behind us catches us, but I'd rather be alive for certain at the other end. Whatever's there has to be better than being trapped in here…"

"If the wormhole is closing at the other end, too, then our maximum warp be able to get us out and even punch us through the wall," Danielle said thoughtfully.

"I agree. It's the best course of action with what we've got. I'd rather leave some torpedoes in reserves; that alien ship came from somewhere, and I'm wondering if this wormhole is it."

"Are you suggesting that this is man-made?" Danielle asked.

"I am, sir. Rather, I think it's likely, and shouldn't be ruled out."

Checking his display again, Holmes saw that the disease was being carried by life support.

"Sir, does the bridge have a separate life support system from the rest of the ship? If so, we need to use it- now. And seal off the bridge with force fields in front of the air ducts, turbolift, and anything other openings. The disease needs to be contained to the rest of the ship."

"Do it. Ensign Kitamura, do your best to guide us safely through this wormhole. I-"

"Captain!" Holmes interrupted, frantically smashing at his console now. "The barrier needs to be activated manually. We have no containment suits here…"

The grim realization set in- to save the other two, one person was going to have to be sacrificed. All three exchanged glances. Without a word, Holmes got up and went for the door.

"…Belay that action, Cadet."

"Captain?"

Stevens drew himself up, putting a hand on the young cadet's shoulder. Stevens' distinguished features shown very little in the low, red, pulsing light of red alert status, but you could hear the conviction in his voice even over the endlessly bleeping klaxon of the beleaguered ship. "I will be going. Ensign Kitamura, I've entered into the ship's log that you are in command of this vessel. It's a field promotion, and therefore probationary, but it's the only decision I can make. You two have been exceptional officers, and you'll both go far. I wish you a safe return home."

The captain strode toward the turbolift, but found Holmes blocking his way.

"I can't let you do this, sir. I have no authority to override you, but I'd rather be court-martialed and thrown in the brig than stand idly by and let you do this. Your place is on the bridge. I'm a cadet; if I die, there will be a dozen to take my place."

Stevens could see the Cadet was dead serious. But time was of the essence. There was no time for diplomacy. The phaser at his hip would have to be enough. A blast hit Holmes in the stomach; just enough to immobilize him for a few seconds while the captain entered the turbolift and secured the doors.

"Computer, locate Captain Stevens!" Holmes ordered.

The computer beeped before responding: "Charles Stevens will no longer be considered administrative personnel. Field Captain Danielle Kitamura is the ranking officer. Field Commander Daniel Holmes is the Executive Officer."

Danielle put a hand on Holmes' shoulder.

"Forget it, Dan. He's gone. There's nothing we can do expect live. It's what he wants."

She could see the anger in Holmes' eyes. Given his position as tactical officer, he felt it his duty to protect the Captain. And Homes didn't take well to failure.

"…You're right. I'll return to my station and see if I can figure something out."

Danielle released her grip on his shoulder after a moment, watching him stride purposely toward his station. She exhaled deeply, a little proud despite herself. They were in charge now. They had started the day as new officers, green as could be. Now they were in command, trying to keep the ship together despite an unmitigated tragedy.

"Barrier is in place and holding. But I recommend we speed up our exit. That barrier may not hold for much longer."

Danielle nodded, taking a moment before she realized he was addressing her. "Understood. Maximum safe speed is a little beyond full impulse. I'm going to be pushing the ship, so brace yourself."

Holmes nodded, tapping his commbadge. "Bridge to engineering."

The cool voice of a Vulcan answered. "Tarek."

"Everyone alright down there?"

From the coughs and sputters, Holmes knew the answer as soon as he'd asked the question. He grimaced, wishing there was something he could do.

"We will all perish in approximately ten minutes…Commander."

Holmes bowed his head, for once not liking being addressed as a superior.

"I hate to ask, but can you give us more power to the impulse engines?"

"Your request is understandable. I will make the effort to comply."

"Thank you, Tarek. Is there any chance you can make it to sickbay and somehow…"

"I can transport there, but the amount of good it will do is questionable. What is certain is that I can accomplish more here. My life is forfeit. Do not waste your time worrying about me. It is illogical to do so."

"I'm an illogical being, Tarek. For what it's worth, I'll pray for you and make sure you are delivered to your home planet."

"Given that we are en route to the Delta Quadrant, it is unlikely that you will be able to achieve that goal."

"I will do everything in my power to see that promise realized. If, at any point, a chance for survival emerges, I want you to take it."

Holmes' voice left no room for argument on that point. He hoped that Tarek knew humans well enough to know that his insistence was because he actually cared.

"…Acknowledged." After a pause: "Power to impulse. Recommend nothing beyond 125%."

"Understood. Thank you again."

"Live long and prosper."

Holmes heard only static on the other end. He steeled himself, looking to Danielle.

"Well, it's up to us. And…if I may speak freely."

Danielle sighed a little. "Holmes, it's just us. No titles, okay?"

"Right. Danielle…Listen, I'm sorry. This whole thing is all my fault."

Danielle didn't take her eyes off the view screen, but there was a clear question in her voice. As the wormhole seemed to spiral around them, she asked him:

"How is this your fault?"

"My bright idea to fight that vessel. All those blasts…we must have torn a hole in the fabric of space. The level four shockwave…"

Danielle didn't even pause. "If you hadn't done that, that alien ship would have killed us."

"We don't know that for sure. We might have held out until that other ship came. Or we might have found another way to pierce their shields. Something; anything."

Danielle had been quietly seething about the situation. She had kept silent because complaining would solve nothing. But now, her pent-up anger showed in a snarl.

"Do you _want_ me to be angry with you, Dan? Is that it? You're not happy unless there's a problem?"

Holmes was clearly taken aback and more than a little surprised, but he said nothing in his defense just yet. "We're alive, and I'm trying to be grateful for that. But if you keep going on about what _could_ have been, I'll regret being the one to survive this disaster! Now, either do something productive, or keep your self-pity to yourself!"

Holmes was floored. But he wouldn't show it. Instead, he sat down at his station and began to work. In his mind, though, things had just done the impossible and gotten worse.

**I should have told her that I liked her, instead of that. But I can't say it now. I hope it's the stress talking, and not her real feelings. I really do wish she'd be angry with me instead. Somehow, I'd feel less guilty about accidentally causing the death of the entire crew.**

"You're already talking like a captain, Danielle," he quipped at the end, hoping to show that he didn't even feel her misplaced anger.

"Exiting the wormhole," Danielle called out.

"Delta Quadrant…population: Us," Holmes said to himself softly. He scanned out of habit, really not expecting anything. To his shock, there WAS another ship here. A Federation ship!

"Danielle…There's a ship. It's a Federation Vessel. The _USS Voyager_!"

"Voyager? The ship that went missing months ago?" Danielle leaned closer to her console. "Can we hail them?"

"Aye. Opening a channel…"

Danielle stood up carefully, facing the view screen. She had a cut on her cheek, and her uniform was torn, but she genuinely didn't care. At this point, she'd take that other ship, even if it was abandoned. This diseased science vessel wasn't going to do them any good.

"Channel open. Resuming use of formal titles…" Holmes called, gently reminding her that they to return to the formalities that went with their field commissions.

Danielle stood up as tall as she could, arms behind her back. "This is Acting Captain Danielle Kitamura of the _USS Guardian_. We are in a priority-one situation and request immediate assistance. _Voyager_, please respond."

Danielle gave Holmes a mock-glare as a message was sent through subspace.

"If we're doing that, then you get over here. You're my second in command; you're supposed to be onscreen to greet the other vessel, too."

Holmes stood up, tapping a few more displays on his console. The Ops station exploded just then, and a panel from the ceiling fell. Jumbled wires and cracked pipes rained down on the bridge. Holmes dodged the falling debris, throwing himself to the ground and covering his head. He was not injured any further, so he continued to the helm's station, the displays for tactical, ops, navigation, and command decorating the screen at his fingertips.

"Our hail has been received. They're responding. Putting it onscreen."

A stern (and very shocked) looking woman appeared on the screen.

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the _USS Voyager_. We've received your hail, _Guardian_. Please state the nature of your situation…"

Janeway couldn't believe the words coming from Ensign Harry Kim's mouth. She set down her coffee mug and strode over to Operations, staring at the readings herself. Despite the visual proof, she asked:

"Come again, Ensign?"

"We're being hailed, Captain. By a Starfleet Vessel. The _USS Guardian_. It's an old ship that's was in the process of being reformatted for duty before we left. Our records show that it is a science vessel, used in training exercises.."

"But what the hell are they doing out here?" Chatokay wondered aloud, not really asking anyone in particular.

"Maybe they got here the same way we did…" Tom Paris suggested.

"Or maybe they came a different way…a way we can get home," Janeway murmured, her breath caught in her throat. She shook her head once to steel herself, and ordered that the hail be returned.

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the _USS Voyager_. We've received your hail, _Guardian_. Please state your situation…"

A young girl, ranked Ensign by the pips on her collar, appeared on the screen.

"Captain, we've had a major biohazard disaster after exchanging weapons fire with an unknown alien vessel. Only two of us survived the initial outbreak of the disease; myself and Acting Commander Daniel Holmes. We've sealed off the bridge from the ship. We're requesting an immediate emergency beam-out."

"Beam them to Sickbay. Alert the Doctor to standby. I want the entire deck emptied and quarantined!

Chakotay, please oversee that."

"Understood," Chakotay responded.

Janeway and Kitamura both looked at Cadet Holmes. He scrambled into viewing range, quickly introducing himself.

"Captain, please download all our sensor and ship's logs. They might have scientific value…"

Janeway walked closer to the view screen.

"What was the compliment of your crew?"

Danielle looked to Holmes, who readily responded:

"…121. 119 are dead or will be dead within…2 minutes, 30 seconds."

Janeway bowed her head sympathetically.

"We'll take the information from your computers once we get you over here safely. Prepare to beam to sickbay."

"Understood," Danielle replied. Holmes approached her on the screen and whispered something. She nodded to him, then faced Janeway again. "Captain, can you make use of any of our resources? We've got untouched photons; emergency and auxiliary power…"

"Let me see if I can find a way to get it over here. But first, we'll get you over here. Transporter room 2, do you have a lock?"

"Yes, Captain, we do," came the reply over the commbadge.

"Excellent. Mr. Chakotay, you're with me. Mr Tuvok, you have the bridge."

-VVV-

Janeway and Chakotay eagerly discussed the possibilities of this new development.

"Something on their ship's logs must record just what happened," Chakotay said, taking long strides to keep up with Janeway's brisk pace. It never ceased to amaze him that Janeway could outpace him without even trying. Chakotay had long, sturdy legs that carried him through valleys, mountains, and streams in his youth. Granted, Janeway admitted to being a bit of a tomboy when she was younger, but still! He'd never seen her run a holodeck exercise program, which was the chief way to stay in shape.

"If that's the case, then we'll have an analysis of a rare space anomaly. A naturally-occurring wormhole that can actually get us across quadrants at a time!"

They reached the Sickbay, finding the two new faces being examined by the Doctor and Kes.

"Well, Mr. Holmes, it would seem you weren't exposed to the disease, and are therefore fine," the Doctor said crisply, putting down his tricorder. "However, I'm detecting an abnormal stress level. I recommend a sedative."

Holmes shook his head. "If that could wait, Doctor…I'd like to be at my best when I'm speaking to the Captain. But I'll return, if the offer for that sedative is still open after my time with her."

The Doctor seemed quite taken aback. Someone was always disputing his treatments, but this one made sense and was polite. So out of curiosity (or whatever accounted for 'curiosity' in a hologram), the Doctor asked:

"You _do_ realize I'm a hologram, right?"

"You're a hologram who's qualified to treat me. I'm not going to dispute what you say," Holmes said evenly. "I'm thankful for the help. And…pardon my saying so, but you're very human for a hologram."

"I…see. Well then. I recommend speaking with Kes. She's the closest thing we have to a counselor onboard. It would do you a world of good to speak with her. You'll find she's attentive, sharp, and very easy to get along with."

Holmes looked across Sickbay at the humanoid girl. Pretty blonde hair, an attractive figure, and a pleasing voice. Right now, said girl was treating Danielle. Holmes felt his heart sink to somewhere in his stomach region.

**Now that the crisis is over, she'll have time to think about a lot of things. Like how I stranded us here. And while she's busy hating me, I'll have time to wonder how the hell we got here to begin with. That wormhole wasn't natural, and too damn convenient…**

-VVV-

"You're perfectly free of infection, Ms. Kitamura."

"Call me Danielle, please."

"Danielle, then. My name is Kes. Before I discharge you, is there anything else I can do for you?"

Danielle looked across sickbay at Holmes. His head was in his hands for a split second, before he returned to normal. But it was obvious he was choking back an unhealthy amount of emotion.

"Nothing for me…but please look at him. I wasn't exactly the calm voice of reason while we got sucked here, and I think he's blaming himself for the whole incident. It's not right, you know?"

Kes smiled. "I understand perfectly. He's lucky to have someone who cares about him like that. Far away from home, we all need that kind of love and consideration."

Danielle lowered her eyes. "Yes…we do."

Suddenly, snapping at Holmes seemed like an awful mistake.

Chakotay followed Janeway into Sickbay, stepping up to Danielle first. Introductions were made as usual.

"I'll need to see your First Officer as well," Janeway nodded toward Holmes, who was sitting with Kes.

"Captain, if I may…he and I were a Cadet and an Ensign, respectively. We were put in charge because we were the last two left. And Holmes…it was his work that put us here. That Ocompan girl is the counselor, I'm told. And I'd like to see him treated…"

Janeway gave an understanding smile. "Of course. Now, please tell me how this happened to you. What, exactly, brought you here? And what events preceded them?"

Chakotay nodded toward Holmes. "I'm going to introduce myself. He may find me easier to talk to than Kes."

Janeway frowned. "Why is that?"

Chakotay chuckled a little. "Well, I can see it from here- he's girl shy. Given his other 'trauma', he might have an easier time talking to me right now."

Janeway put her hands on her hips and pulled her lips into a grin. "I didn't realize that girls were considered a trauma, Mr. Chakotay."

Chakotay returned the grin. "Only to those who let themselves get intimidated. It's a good balance. If all of us were like Tom Paris, no female would be safe."

"It really is all my fault. Creating those shock waves…destroying that ship…and…my God, the people I must have killed!"

Holmes put his head in his hands.

"It was in self-defense, but it would have been different if there had been more of us. I killed the hundred-fifty on that alien ship to protect two people! And then I get the two of sucked across quadrants and into the middle of nowhere!"

Kes put a sympathetic hand on Holmes' shoulder, trying to reassure him. "You did what you had to do. You did what Starfleet asked; you did what your commanding officer asked. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But he never asked me to send his ship to the other side of the world. My bright idea brought us here…but there's no way to repeat it to get us home. I couldn't blow up another ship full of people again. I think I'm traumatized…"

Chakotay approached, nodding to Kes. She nodded back, and patted Holmes on the back.

"Dan, this is Commander Chakotay. He'd like to speak with you now."

Kes stood up, nodded again, and left. Chakotay sat down.

"How old are you, Cadet?"

"Twenty-one, sir."

Chakotay nodded. "Come on. You look like a man who needs a drink right now."

Avoiding the mess hall, Chakotay brought Holmes to Janeway's ready room. She had given him the okay to use it for this purpose. The hectic nature of Nelix's kitchen wouldn't lend itself well to a quiet chat.

"Fire whiskey," Chakotay spoke into the replicator. A bubbling glass of amber liquid appeared in seconds. He stepped aside, gesturing to Holmes.

"Alabama Slammer."

They sat down, taking sips of their drinks before Chakotay brought up the present situation.

"So, tell me what happened. Start from the beginning."

An hour later, Holmes was finished. Chakotay's eye's were wide with both sadness and an amazement.

"So you adapted the main deflector to fire off a burst that caused a shockwave?"

"No, I just came up with the idea. A friend in engineering did the manual labor."

"But still…impressive solution."

"If by 'impressive' you mean 'I totally screwed up', then yeah."

Chakotay narrowed his eyes, reading Holmes. He had always been good at that.

"You did something right. Two of you survived thanks to your actions. If you hadn't acted, you would all be dead. And besides…You're not upset for your sake…you're upset for her."

"Yes. Danielle…I mean, Ensign Kitamura did nothing to deserve this. She's a bright girl, multitalented, all the potential in the world…and I'm just a phaser jockey. 119 deaths on my conscience before even getting to that alien vessel…Don't know how I'm gonna sleep at night."

Chakotay was torn here. He was weighing the potential of inputting data into the computer and having a holodeck program reproduce what the _Guardian_ did. No doubt the majority of the crew would love to see it.

Putting a bracing hand on Holmes' shoulder, Chakotay decided to ask the young man for what would likely be the hardest favor he could grant:

"Holmes…Can you live through this once more?"

-VVV-

Janeway and the others stood on the holodeck bridge, starting at the beginning. Once the Captain died, and he made Ensign Kitamura the Acting Captain, Holmes shifted gears and became Acting Commander.

He reproduced the shockwave. All the while he looked at Danielle out of the corner of his eye. She didn't seem too disturbed by the whole thing. Holmes wished he could say the same.

"I don't understand," B'Ellana murmured. "Captain, there's nothing here to suggest that he created that wormhole. At least, not on his own. There must have been a subspace phenomenon, or something."

The Captain thought for a moment. "What were we doing at the time?"

"Harry and I were…!" B'Ellana put a horrified hand to her mouth. "Oh…don't tell me…"

"What is it?" Janeway prodded. It couldn't be what she thought at first. The odds were…

"Harry and I were working on the warp core. We caused a space anomaly…"

Janeway couldn't believe it. Her eyes narrowed. "Are you saying that _we're_ responsible?"

B'ellana began to pace and wring her hands helplessly, her usual gesture of frustration. "It's the only theory that makes sense. Aside from incredibly accurate timing, it all makes sense. Their explosions registered in subspace; Harry and I happened to open a space anomaly at that time. It was only for a few seconds, but…"

Holmes' jaw had gone slack. Danielle was looking at B'Ellana, surprise on her face.

"That shouldn't be possible. The odds of that happening are beyond astronomical, aren't they?" Holmes managed to say. Silence greeted his statement.

-VVV-

It took a few days, but things calmed down on Voyager again. They had resumed their course for home, with two added to their numbers.

Danielle, as a former Helmsman, would be learning from Tom Paris, at least at first. She was a jack of all trades. Holmes, more limited than Danielle, needed to find a place for himself. As a cadet, that was nearly impossible on such a small, tightly run ship. Right now, he found himself standing on the turbolift, looking at the bridge. He knew the rules- no one under ensign could be on the bridge.

"Are you waiting for an invitation, Cadet?" Captain Janeway asked, looking up with a smile, an eyebrow arched.

"To be honest…I am, Sir," Holmes replied.

"Call me 'Captain'. As I've already explained to Mr. Kim, I disdain that part of Starfleet formality."

"Yes, S- Captain."

"Now, I also disdain the 'no one under ensign' rule on the bridge. So please, join us."

Holmes stepped onto the bridge, instantly loving it. Voyager was a beautiful ship. It's bridge was no exception.

"Now, what's on your mind?" Janeway asked, leaning towards Holmes with a friendly expression on her face. She made sure not to seem so friendly that she lost her 'command presence'.

"I…I'm not sure where I fit in, Captain. My former post was as the Chief Tactical officer, but Voyager is, well…"- he grinned a little bit at the irony- "A whole 'nother world."

Janeway rested her chin on her hand, looking at the cadet. "Well, even Mr. Tuvok needs to sleep eventually. Why don't we train you as a tactical and security officer? That would seem to be your best bet."

A laugh broke in from the conn. Paris had told some joke, to which Danielle was now giggling to. It made Janeway smile.

It made Holmes' stomach turn.

Ensign Kim, looking on from Tactical, stepped up.

"Captain, I'd like permission to give Cadet Holmes a tour of the ship. A formal tour, I mean."

"Granted. Good idea, Mr. Kim. Proceed." Janeway gave Holmes a small, comforting smile. "Don't avoid the mess hall. Mr. Neelix's cooking is something of an acquired taste, but as my…'morale officer'…he may be able to help you feel at home on Voyager."

"Thanks, Ensign," Holmes muttered. "I needed to get out of there. The Captain is nice, but she's imposing."

"Yeah, she has that effect. But I wanted to get you out of there before you slugged Paris."

Holmes put on a perplexed face. "Why would I hit Paris?"

**The thought HAD occurred to me. Although Paris is innocent of any wrongdoing…He just looks like one of those popular guys who used to pick on me. I shouldn't judge, but damn it's hard. He's got the girl. Is a wedgie next?**

"He's hitting on your girl, isn't it?" Kim asked plainly.

"She's not mine."

"You're pretty obviously crushing on her, though, if you don't mind my saying," Harry said around a brotherly grin. Some things only other guys could pick up on and state comfortably.

"It's that obvious?" Holmes half-whispered. "Guess it can't be a big secret. She's a gorgeous girl, and one of the few out here, I'd imagine. I can't blame Paris for making a move."

Kim put a hand on Holmes' shoulder. "Listen, I'm Tom's best friend, and I'm telling you now- if you're going to stake a claim with a girl, you'd better do it now. Tom will still back off…"

Holmes shook his head, clearly forcing an upbeat look. "No. If he's made a serious move, then I shouldn't interfere. It wouldn't be right. He's only guilty of moving faster than me. And if Danie- er, Ensign Kitamura likes him back, I shouldn't get involved."

Harry rolled his eyes a little. "You sound like…me, actually. It's a little silly, but I'm still waiting for my girl back home. Tom keeps trying to get me to find someone else, but I can't just give up hope."

"You're a lucky man, Harry," was the only comment Holmes could muster. "Now, do you have any clue as to where I might be useful? I know what the Captain said, but I don't believe Mr. Tuvok needs that much sleep…"

"What's your skillset?"

"None. And not likely to grow."

"That's what I thought, too," Harry admitted. "But believe me, out here in the Delta quadrant, your skillset will grow. It'll happen naturally, and you might not even notice it. But it'll happen. And someday, you'll be in that situation where you need to make a move, and without thinking, you'll know exactly what to do."

-VVV-

Klaxon alarms sounded. Personnel scrambled to their stations. Voyager rocked yet again.

"Return fire," Janeway ordered, looking at the enemy ship on the view screen.

"Their shields have weakened, but are holding," Tuvok informed her crisply.

Holmes entered the bridge, mostly to see what was going on. Danielle was standing near Tom, watching him execute evasive maneuvers. Janeway was sitting in her command chair, glaring at the screen. Holmes looked, too- and gasped.

"That's the ship that attacked us!" he blurted out, forgetting he wasn't planning on staying. He walked closer to the view screen, despite the fact that it wouldn't give him a better view. He stopped at the railing behind the command station, etiquette in the back of his mind. It wouldn't do to block the view of someone useful. His hand gripped the metal railing until his knuckles turned white under the strain. His face held a neutral expression, but his eyes gave away what he was feeling. A mix of anger and regret soon colored his cheeks, despite his best effort. His jaw was clamped shut as he glowered at the screen. Little by little, his stoic demeanor faded away.

Janeway and everyone else had heard him. Danielle hadn't looked up from Tom's control panel, but now she took a moment and:

"You're right. What are they?"

"Kazon," Janeway informed them. "But how would you-! The ship that attacked you- while in the Alpha Quadrant?"

"Yes. No wonder we couldn't identify them! And no wonder we had a hard time with their defenses!"

Holmes looked at the ship on the screen. It had an ugly, lopsided design. It looked like a flea, he decided. A giant, metal flea. It was a dull brown in color, with a rounded fore and metal extensions hanging straight down. The ship was larger than _Voyager_, but not by that much. His mind told him that this was no warship. He glared at the ship some more, wondering if he could blow it up by sheer force of will?

Apparently not, as the ship stayed in-tact and continued firing.

"Can you think of anything that might give us an advantage?" Tuvok asked. He had confidence in Voyager's ability to repel an attack, but if there was anything it would be logical to know.

Holmes only needed a moment to think. "The ship against us had set it's shields to match our weapons signature, nullifying the effect. That's why I used a burst from the main deflector to augment the weapons. You could do that, but…"

KA-BOOM!

"Hit to secondary power couplings. Main deflector is off-line…"

Tuvok's voice held a tone of worry, surprisingly easy to read considering he was a Vulcan.

"I can set it manually," Holmes finally decided. "I remember the settings from the _Guardian_." **I'll never forget…every detail is burned into my memory.**

The captain hesitated for only a moment, looking at Holmes as if to check his resolve. When he didn't crumble under her gaze:

"Janeway to engineering."

"_Torres here, Captain."_

"If we pulled the same tactics as in the _Guardian_ simulation, what would be the result?"

Silence. Down in engineering, B'Ellana was no doubt sucking on her thumb nail, working the equations in her head.

"_Given that we aren't running any experiments right now…the result would be minor damage. Our shields would hold without hull damage."_

"Understood. Janeway out."

Janeway turned to Holmes, her eyes fixed on his.

"I need that deflector burst as soon as possible. Advise Mr. Tuvok when ready."

Holmes almost smiled. But the 119 lives lost from the last time he did this wouldn't let him. So he dedicated it to them.

"Understood."

Holmes raced down the corridor, looking for the hatch to the correct Jefferies tube. Once he found it, he found that it was stuck. That meant he had to open it manually. Having been on the ship for a couple days, he had nothing but time to kill. So he drilled himself on Voyager's layout and procedures. That's how he knew to find the circle-shaped cookie-cutter…thing, put it on the door lock, twist and push.  
>The door hissed open, and Holmes began to climb down. He nearly lost his grip a couple times when the ship was rocked, but managed to hold on to the ladder, silently reminding himself not to look down.<p>

Finally, he found his exit.

Tapping at the blinking console, Holmes punched in the numbers necessary. The controls chirped at him, flashing a happy green color. Satisfied, Holmes' tapped his commbadge.

"Holmes to Lt. Tuvok. The burst is ready"

"Understood. Return to the bridge."

"Aye, on my way."

Then a console blew a couple feet away, sending a shower of metal into Holmes. It was burning hot and very , very sharp. It made Holmes fall into the far wall, jamming metal into his side. Immediately, his breathing became more labored. Before he blacked out, Holmes managed to tap his commbadge and say

"Sickbay- medica-"

-VVV-

Holmes' vision was blurry, but he couldn't tell if that was because he was too hurt to feel pain anymore, or if it was because of some drug that had been given to him. When he saw the Doctor's familiar face above him, he assumed it was the latter.

"He's awake, Captain."

Janeway had moved into Dan's view now, wearing a relieved smile. Holmes' first thought was:

"Did I-"

Janeway nodded slowly, offering him a look of compassion. "You did. The burst came in time. It threw the Kazon ship off-line. We repeated your tactic of layering the shields while Tuvok fired. They withdrew once their weapons were offline."

Holmes struggled to sit up, needing to do so to get his bearings. "I'm glad it worked., then."

The Doctor chose this moment to interject. "Captain, he needs to rest. He suffered severe trauma to his side. I've treated the worst of it, but he still needs some plain, old-fashioned rest."

"Very well, Doctor. Keep me informed. I need him mobile for the party tonight."

Janeway gave Holmes a broad smile, gleaming teeth flashing at him.

"One thing you'll learn, cadet, is that there are a lot of reasons to have a party here on _Voyager_. It keeps us all sane."

Holmes felt nothing but an odd mix of awkwardness and acceptance as he stood to one side of Commander Chakotay. To his left was Captain Janeway. And to Janeway's left was Danielle. They were all standing in front of the majority of the ship's crew.

"So, welcome to our new guests from the Alpha Quadrant. Their trip was a harsh one, and it's forced two young and talented people to adapt quickly, and to grow even quicker. You've heard their story by now, no doubt. The end you have not heard, however, is more beneficial. Thanks to the _Guardian's_ resources, our ship's auxiliary and emergency power are at surplus levels. Our photon torpedoes have been replenished. And our crew gains two more talented members. Allow me to formally introduce Ensign Danielle Kitamura; helm."

Cheers from the Voyager crew filled the mess hall. Tom Paris, front and center, seemed to be grinning wider than usual. Next to him, Harry smiled, but gave Holmes a look of concern. Holmes only nodded a little.

"And finally, Dan 'Deflector Dish' Holmes-" Janeway paused, allowing the laughter to recede. Holmes' face reddened, even though he was actually very happy.

"Formerly Cadet. But today, Stardate 49931.5, I've entered into the ship's log: For exemplary service above and beyond the call of duty, and beyond the capacity of his station, I grant Daniel Holmes a Field Commission of Ensign."

More cheers. Holmes tried to only smile gratefully and give a half-bow, but it turned into a full smile and a hug from Janeway, along with a firm handshake from Chakotay. He turned to Danielle, who seemed genuinely happy for him. He extended his hand formally, but she ignored it and gave him a friendly hug. When she was close enough, she whispered:

"I need to talk to you."

Walking down Voyager's hallway in their new uniforms, brand new Commbadges on their chests, Holmes and Danielle took in the ship's layout. Holmes was wearing the yellow and black uniform of Security/Tactical (though he preferred the red and black of command that Danielle was sporting), and decided it was a good fit. He'd barely had time to be in his last uniform, and that one didn't have the extra weight of a pip on his collar.

"You surprised me back there, Dan," Kitamura said out of the blue. "Though I guess I shouldn't be, given what you've already done in the couple of days I've known you."

"It's nothing. I just wonder how it would have been if the _Guardian_ had _Voyager's_ capabilities."

"Mmm," she replied, lost in thought. "Listen, I…need to apologize. I was pretty rough on you. I guess I was kind of…blaming you for what happened. But I can't let you take all the blame, no matter how convenient for me. If I'd been a better pilot; If I'd thought to jump to warp at the first sign of danger…"

"There are a lot of 'if's', aren't there?" Holmes intoned, making sure his words conveyed the deeper, unspoken meaning he was getting at.

"Yes, there are. But more important are the facts. And from what I can figure out, these are the facts: You and I are the only ones left who bore witness to the _Guardian's _disaster. We need to make sure Starfleet learns from that mistake. We need to make sure the 119 who perished aren't forgotten in the annals of history. We're part of a new crew now, and we need to make sure they get home. So we can get home and tell our story."

Holmes stopped short, almost saying something else. But he bit back his urge to tell Danielle what he felt. He was still very much a child playing an adult's role. She had matured, and was most certainly a capable woman. He didn't feel like an equally capable man, no matter how he sliced it. Besides, what could he do for her? If they were to make it home, Tom Paris was a better bet for her. So Holmes settled for a half-smile.

"You're right. I'm going to make the most of the trip home. I've got a lot to learn. And…Thanks. If you need to talk about the _Guardian_…if I'll do, you know where my quarters are."

Danielle smiled and nodded. It struck Holmes again how beautiful she was. But just as before, she was as untouchable as the sun and as far away as earth.

They embraced briefly, as colleagues with a shared understanding of their own private world. This bond could only be between them. It did not make them close as lovers, but cemented their friendship.

"Get some rest, Dan. You need it."

Danielle let go of the hug, but held on to his shoulders, as if studying him. Holmes stared back curiously, again struck by how boggling the female mind was. Finally, he dipped his head in a nod.

"Likewise, okay? If you're going to be piloting my ride home, make sure your eyes can stay open."

As she walked away, long hair flowing behind her, Dan decided he would find a place on Voyager. His parents might worry a little- okay, a lot- but Dan felt like he was in good hands. He just needed to find his place on _Voyager_, and leave his mark on the Delta Quadrant.

Turning on a heel, Holmes went the opposite way to his quarters. Sleep might not come easy, but it felt like he had earned the right to rest.


End file.
